Is being cheap so bad?

So I have a big nose like my father. This is often a pretty big (no pun intended) give-away that I am Jewish. Another common stereotype (this blog does not promote stereotypes of any kind...unless they are comical, such as the one I'm about to write about), is that Jewish folk are miserly. In my case, this is dead on. I don't think of it as a genes thing, more of an upbringing rich in the lessons of cheapness. My dad used to clip coupons out of multiple newspapers. Same coupon, same magazine. It would be the one coupon that would not only save him money, but make him money. "Toothpaste" (probably Aquafresh, or some shit you would not normally think about putting in your mouth), at Vons. It started out on sale for $0.99, down from $1.25. The coupon would be for $0.75 off. But at Vons, you could double it. So $1.50 off $0.99 he would walk out with shit in his mouth and $0.51 in his pocket. But the coupon was limit one per customer. But he had clipped fifteen coupons. This meant that for the next couple of days, after school was out, my sister and I would have to accompany him and each buy a thing of toothpaste. The worst was when we had to make multiple trips in a day. Not only was it a waste of an afternoon, but the look of disgust and pity from the guy working the cash register was a little bit humiliating. Regardless, by the time we were done, we had enough toothpaste to last the next two years and a whopping $7.65 in our pockets. We left the dignity in the parking lot, but walked out with our heads held high.
I don't pay retail for much of anything anymore. If I can't find it onsale, have a coupon, or sweet talk my way out of paying the bill, I usually don't buy it. Cheap indeed, but it has managed a lifestyle for my wife and I that is quite a bit higher than we would be capable of. For example, if we can find a discount on Restaurant.com, Groupon or Livingsocial we won't eat there. We have rewards points on Amex, Priority Club (Holiday Inn Express), and Southwest. Rarely will you catch us staying somewhere where we can't use the points or earn the points at a faster clip. Our movie tickets are purchased at Costco for a $5 discount and I prepare my own taxes by hand every year so I don't have to spend the money for a tax consultant or even buying TurboTax. Hell, the secondary reason for starting this blog is to generate ad revenue. Sure, some of the things may be a "waste of time", but if you get off on saving money as I do, not only is it time well spent, but you're a walking hard on.
The reason for this post however is to distinguish and note the difference from being cheap, frugal and miserly and that of being a thief. Actually, looking deeper at the first three words, they really are all different. I buy expensive stuff, but its at a discount so that's not really cheap, frugal sounds about right, but I'm also generous with my friends and family, so miserly doesn't sound so right. So lets say the difference between frugality and theft.
When I was first out of college, I had taken a job with a big named accounting firm. They didn't pay much but it was a good experience. I lived in a big city though and it was expensive. I lived close to campus even though i had graduated, with two of my fraternity brothers who were dirt poor as well. We shared a 750 sq. ft. apartment, two bedrooms (I had my own small hole and they shared a room). My portion of the bill was $900 a month (compared to the $550 I paid for my only place a year later living in Texas). Regardless, life was expensive, we didn't make much and we liked to drink, so that wiped out (pun to follow) a good portion of our budget.
Anyways, I had a client that had a nice office building out of the city and me and a coworker I was friends with had to work late most nights when all of the client's staff had left to go home already. So each night before leaving, I would head to the restroom, take a leak and then take a fresh roll of toilet paper home with me. Three guys living together, this probably saved about $3 a week. That's a shot at happy hour.
Ladies and Gentelmen, that straight up is theft. Taking soap and shampoo from a hotel room is getting your money's worth. Getting money back on toothpaste with a coupon is good value. Stealing corporate supplies (also bathroom necessities) is just plain wrong. Looking back, I'm a little ashamed, but also realized it was something we needed often, it was a "victimless crime" for the most part and it was three-ply, so it was an indulgence in a difficult point in my life.
I was at dinner tonight with my wife an some family friends and we got to talking about rest room habits, frequency of usage, and eventually, wiping etiquette. I'm a big proponent of checking one's progress after each wipe. Our friend said he was more of a three wipe status update type of guy. But then he said the most interesting thing I've heard in a long time. He's actually, on numerous occassions, been able to do the deed without even needing to wipe once. Even with a safety pat, it was confirmed that indeed this was the case. To think I've gone all this time without even attempting this superhuman ability. Dropping a duece with no need for the TP. You tell me who the cheap one is now.

Sincerely,

Coco